OCD

Exhaustion. That’s my excuse and I guess I’ll stick with it. I frequently suffer from insomnia and this past month I feel as though I have suffered from this malady with increasing frequency. In addition to lack of sleep, things at work have been very busy and stressful. The economy sure has a lot of people down these days and WIC is a tremendous blessing in the pocketbook for those who qualify. This past Wednesday was a particularly stressful day that ended with a sick baby vomiting on me, and his very overwhelmed, homeless mother crying in my arms. I arrived home later than usual, but still had to take on a huge baking task. My daughter Mary and I have the annual chore of baking kolaches for our upcoming family reunion, and this was the night we had scheduled to bake the treats, all 12 dozen of them. We were rolling dough and filling pastries until 10:30 at night. I should have gone straight to bed after that, but I didn’t. Instead I thought I’d just take a few minutes to look over the some of my favorite blogs.

God seems to be drawing me to Carmelite blogs with more and more frequency. Perhaps He was doing this because I needed a lesson in humility. Whether that was His intention or not, humility is what I got! I found a beautiful new blog written by a cloistered Carmelite nun. You can find the blog link in my list (lounge de sa gloire). The prayers and pictures are lovely! I just had to leave a comment. Unfortunately, I was not thinking clearly and I made an absolute fool of myself! Her bio described her as an ocd sister. In a world of abbreviations, the first thing those initials brought to my mind was “obsessive, compulsive disorder” to which I can completely relate. So, I told the sweet sister, “don’t feel bad about being ocd, I am too! As long as we are obsessed with Jesus and compulsive about prayer, its all good, isn’t it?” Then I went to bed.

The next morning, the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, I was driving to work and thinking about the feast day and all of the lovely Carmelites I had been coming to know when my mistake hit me like a ton of bricks. OCD…Order of Carmelites, Discalced! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so for the entire day, I vacillated between both! I couldn’t believe my ignorance! Of course this happened at a time when I was thinking pretty highly of myself, so getting knocked down a few notches was really what I needed.

That night it was back to the blogs to offer a humble apology. How do you show a red face with your words? Of course, the dear ocd sister forgave me and actually had a good laugh about it herself. And the lesson I learned? When you are tired, do not leave comments on blogs. When you are tired, do what comes naturally; go to bed! And now, good night from an OCD (obsessive compulsive) mom who may someday become a much better kind of OCD (Order of Carmelites, Discalced) Secular mom! Now I need a nap!