I'm waiting for my Mother to hold me. I'm waiting to give her my all. I've waited so long and I know the moment is near, and I'm trembling all over. I'm afraid. So very afraid. Something is holding me back and it won't release me to let me go to her. I can't escape it, I can't get away. It's always here, laughing at me, telling me that I'm not good enough and that my Mother doesn't want me...doesn't love me. My prayers fall into the silence. No one sees my tears but an old woman, herself the mother to many. She reaches out to me, asks me if I'm alright, but I can't speak, I only nod my head in a lie. Because I'm not alright. How will I feel when the time comes to go to her, and I let it pass, if I stay buried, hidden in my cover of shame?
Oh Mother come to me! Don't wait for me to come to you, because I might not. Come to me now and hold me, don't ever let me go, promise you will always love me, always be here for me. Flood me with your goodness so I will become strong enough to consecrate myself to you, to become a slave of your love forever. Amen.
