The Very Rest

it's not that I don't believe that God loves me
it's that I don't believe that I love Him
not enough
something always seems to get in the way
of my complete abandonment to His heart

I want too much
I expect too much
I don't know how to release
my possessive grasp
and hold on lightly
without clinging

oh for the grace of detachment
from this world
and the pleasures it contains
in favor of what's to come
for this I pray with all my heart

"For this is the cause why we be not all in ease of heart and soul; that we seek here rest in those things that be so little, wherein is no rest, and know not our God that is Almighty, All-wise, All-good. For He is the very rest." Blessed Julian of Norwich