Ego mania is a funny concept. As loving, caring humans, we promote ego mania to our children through covert names like "confidence" and "self-esteem". To some (Some? What am I saying? Many. MANY.) extents it is necessary for survival. To live a more fulfilling life and generally be happier, we more or less need to love ourselves and who WE are as independent individuals with our own "unique" perspectives on life that have not in any way, shape, or form been manipulated and molded by corporate and/or institutional entities designed to train us like the proverbial monkeys we are.
Boosh.
Anyway, along with our ego mania comes a set of "rules" we ascribe and agree upon as a greater, communal whole. Be confident. But don't you dare be an egotistical hack, or we'll love you even more (this goes double for people we find sexually appealing). After all, confidence is a great attractor, is it not? We all love a stalwart "hero in the face of adversity", do we not?
My God, that sounds like a part of a bad plot synopsis!
Moving on, there's something I noticed in the world of ego mania that's got me irked. It's a "great divide" if you will that really just digs underneath my skin worse than an "Alabama tick" (Thanks Jesse Ventura). It's so irritating and distressing I imagine it's similar to finding out I have testicular cancer from resting my laptop on my lap too much and then needing to have surgery to remove one of my two diamonds in the family jewelry bag.
Yeah. That bad.
This divide stretches beyond the normal limits of society's basic douchebaggery. In fact, the people who perpetuate this don't even realize they're ascribing themselves to levels above normal assholes. They just go about what they're doing feeling as if they've done the world no disservice. Granted, it's not surprising to some extent, but I've met a lot of normal assholes in my life. In fact, I am one (I'm of the asshole clan that sits around enjoying social disharmony and pointing out discrepancies in the human matrix). Most normal assholes, however, are aware of their social strata. They KNOW what they're doing, and for one reason or another, they simply do not care.
Now, please note, there is also a subclass of humans known as dicks, but that's not to be covered in this little writing exercise. I'll talk about dicks when I'm good and ready (if ever).
The new kids on the block in social douchebaggery I speak of I officially dub as members of "The AWESOME Brigade". Now, note that AWESOME is written in all caps because the "awesomeness" of these people reaches a height beyond "epic". These creatures are relatively normal, uninteresting people who have relatively normal, uninteresting hobbies, and, as I've come to find, they typically stem from middle or upper class backgrounds financially-speaking. It's simply, for one reason or another, their levels of self-esteem and confidence have reached an apex to where they ascribe their "unique" attributes as being above the social programming of the rest of us dolts. That part makes them the basic asshole. The special subclass comes into play when they flaunt it without consciously knowing it, replying back with the same phrase over and over again for every compliment or statement of gratitude they receive.
"Hey Timmy, great job on your paper!"
"Awwww... That's just 'cuz I'm awesome!"
-or-
"Sharon, you were a demon in the sack last night."
"Ted, you know it's 'cuz I'm awesome!"
-or-
"I really appreciate you helping me out. It means a lot to me, and your educated input is greatly appreciated."
"Yup. I'm just being awesome.... 'cuz I'm awesome!"
Now class, would someone kindly like to explain to me the standard, communal Modus Operandi for courteous etiquette on "thank you's" and "you're welcome's"? Anyone? Anyone?
Far be it from me to normally support the status quo and argue in sake of that evil institution anarchists and dumb high school students call "The SYSTEM". I'm normally playing on the opposite side of the fence smoking pot with the dumb high school drop-outs talking about how "The SYSTEM" is butchering our families and keeping us down. It's usually more interesting over there in a sick Star Wars Rebel Alliance sense, and I also get my jollies from entertaining and sometimes enacting sociopathic thoughts.
However, this "AWESOME"....ness.... will not stand, man!
I'm hearing it more frequently lately, and it's driving me completely bonkers. I can't be the only one, can I? I mean, it's normal to fantasize about taking these people down a notch, right? That's classic psychological aggression brought on by standard "mommy issues" people may have! Right?
The truth of the matter is, some of these people can be so sweet at times. They can be so giving and so helpful. So loving. So incredibly normal and average that there doesn't really seem to be anything at all special about them. In fact, some of them seem to try so hard to be different to uphold this "awesome" status and may come off as phony. Yet, there is a sense of sweetness there one can find - a beating heart lodged within a mass-produced robot.
Then they ruin the moment.
One minute a female member of The AWESOME Brigade is offering you a hand to pull yourself up after you trip over a rock. Then, after you thank her, she kindly smiles at you with those deep, beautiful blue oceans of hers and says, "No worries. It's just 'cuz I'm AWESOME!"
Fuck.
Take a compliment with some grace....
Maybe I'm wrong though? Maybe my biggest problem with this whole issue is that when someone makes that claim (rather them having another human being ascribe that detail to them), it opens up that person to be analyzed, studied, and judged?Claiming one's self as being awesome means that person needs to be top-notch unique. I mean really UNIQUE. So unique their shit doesn't smell like any other human's. And, as I've come to find, that's hardly possible.
After all, we're all homogenized products by design. A few able bodies mass produced our minds and unleashed us upon each other. Sure, there can be some irregularities in the programming and truly a few gleaming gems, but those people are few and far between. They're rare and often don't even know it, so they respond back with the modesty of any decent person.
They don't simply say, "Dat's 'cuz I be crazy awesome!"
Stay awesome.
Doktor nOnsensical signing off.
P.S. Sometimes finding out one has testicular cancer isn't so bad. It means one might be able to drop an infinitesimally small amount of weight that's just enough to win the Tour de France.
