Every mother needs a little love and support doesn't she? This mother is so very grateful for the love and support of her wonderful husband! Mary, Mother of God, pray for all mothers:single, married, young,and old. Help us to follow your beautiful example of love in all of life's circumstances.
Wednesdays always seem to begin so chaotically! After spending my early morning hours carpooling my kids and their friends to school, I arrive to work late and flustered. I grimace at the box of charts, already full, and glance towards the waiting room teeming with mothers and children restlessly waiting for their turn with the nutritionist. As I wait for the always-slow computer to warm up, I quickly visit with my coworkers about the latest American Idol favorite, realizing that those clients in the office have a busy day awaiting them and are most likely running out of patience while they wait for me.
Finally, the computer is ready; I grab a chart and call the first client, Latoya, a 26-year-old pregnant woman. I offer some small talk about slow computers as a way to warm up our conversation but quickly realize that small talk is the last thing in the world that is concerning her.
As soon as she sat down in the chair, she burst into tears as if she had been holding them in for a long time. “I’m not happy!” she cried, “I don’t want to be pregnant!” I turned from my computer and the questions that waited to be answered on its screen, mentally kicking myself for rambling on, and moved in close to Latoya to give her my undivided attention.
She was pregnant with her fifth child. She had been a mother since she was 14 years old. The father of her baby had kicked her and her four children out of his apartment, and out of his life. She was living in a transitional housing project but needed to be out and in a new house within two months. “I’m just so angry with myself!” she said. “Why did I let this happen? I don’t know what I’m going to do!” Isn’t it just like a woman to put all of the blame on herself, as if her boyfriend didn’t play any part in causing this new life to grow inside of her?
I reminded Latoya of her tremendous strength. Just the fact that she has raised four children on her own for the past 12 years was a great testimony to how strong she is and what a skilled mother she must be. I tried to give her encouragement by telling her that she was going to be just fine and her baby was lucky to have such a wonderful mother. I gave her a referral to a Prenatal Care Coordination Agency, which will send a nurse to her house to check on the well being of Latoya and her baby, and her other children as well. I gave her a list of housing programs, food pantries and meal programs. I encouraged her to keep up with her doctor and WIC appointments. I reminded her to continue to lean on the support systems that she already has such as her mother and friends.
I commiserated with her about the difficulties of being a parent today and told her that I, too, have five children and I know that it can be very challenging at times, but that things always have a way of coming around when times seem so difficult and if she would just hang in there and keep looking ahead, that better days would come her way. Her face seemed to brighten a bit when I shared a bit of my family story with her, how we too struggled financially and emotionally when the children were babies, but I told her that time has a way of flying by, and before you know it, they are all in school and life becomes a little more manageable. She glanced at my shelves of family portraits and asked about my children. I took down a family photo from the shelf, my family of whom I am tremendously proud. Many times, clients come in my office and compliment me on my lovely family and express interest in the large number of children that I have. But for the first time, a twinge of guilt came over me for sharing my family photo with Latoya. I realized that I am so extremely fortunate to have a wonderful, loving, involved husband in my picture, something that she was sorely lacking. No matter how difficult my life may be with five children in this fast-paced world, I always have someone standing right by my side to help me and support me and love me. I don’t have to do it alone. My prayers go out to Latoya and all single mothers, who face the challenges of parenting by themselves. They are definitely much stronger than I am, and they are definitely in need of God’s strength to support them.
When Latoya left my office with my hug, my prayers, and a couple of extra tissues, I knew that she and her baby were both going to be fine. I knew that she would draw on her inner resources and do her very best for her family. I knew that God would bless her and her baby with a happy future. And then, at the end of the day, I went home and thanked my husband for his love and thanked God for my husband.
