- St. Bartholomew

Every year it seems to come earlier
and stay longer
the cloak of clouds that covers me seems to be heavier
than the previous year
dark emotion surrounds me,
suffocates me,
becomes me
I've tried to escape; tried running away,
but it always overtook me
I've tried numbing it with food and alcohol,
but I only ended up feeling worse
I've turned to prayer,
but my words get caught in my throat and I
have to depend on the Holy Spirit
to groan inexpressibly within me
I am useless against it
I can only accept it,
live with it,
embrace it
for this darkness is God working within me
purifying me of everything that comes between
my Creator and me
Somehow He must believe that
I am strong enough
to withstand the pain
and so I must trust in Him
and in His love for me
until the Summer sun shines
in my heart once again.