Spring and Summer are operating in full swing, skipping hand-in-hand into our part of the hemisphere like Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. With them, come festivals, outdoor shows, pedophile ice cream vendors, beautiful women in skimpy outfits, parades that are still considered "extreme interrogation techniques" and not "torture" by some news outlets, political bullshit, drive-in movies where most virile young men learn how to operate stick-shift in their cars, and long walks on paved paths by lakes where spooky signs warn patrons not to stray from the asphalt.
One particular event that always boggles my mind is the air show. These babies are set up all over the country, and they more or less consist of a collective yard sale. Rich people show up sporting off their old and new aircraft. Military venues show up to try and use their magic blabberings to ruse young men and women into "fighting for our freedom" by blowing the piss out of foreigners with resources we need. Restauranteurs and shysters set up food stands. Multinational corporations come to push their products, be they relevant or irrelevant. Oh, and planes fly around all day, sometimes doing stunts or pooping out people in parachutes to trashy 80s power ballads.
Chief among the sights and sounds of the air show are the more recent aircraft - the ones that can break the sound barrier. The tremendous noise across the sky as fighter jets roll in busting a nut through the sound barrier is earth-shaking, literally. It's not a sound anyone misses, and it's one people remember for the rest of their lives.
Americans remember it so well, that they pay 15, 20, 25, 30, and sometimes up to 85 bucks a person just to walk in, hear that noise, and possibly witness some pyrotechnic displays of explosions across the run-away. Why people want to feel the heat blast of a large explosion 400 feet away on a hot, humid day where the temperature is climbing above 99 degrees is beyond me.
Yet, it's a symbol of our inherent "American-ism". It's a past time many people love to enjoy, crying out in "awe" as they're shocked by the tremendous amount of fuel being burned in the sky. When most Americans hear an F-15 or an F-18 burst through the sound barrier - one thought always rolls to mind:
"Where's the bratwurst stand?"
It's funny to think about this American tradition in relation to other countries. While most of us chunky nationalists, with our pudgy digits waving a cheap, plastic flag made in China around, wait for hours to buy lousy, overpriced food dish after lousy, overpriced food dish with planes zipping by, in Libya, air shows are free.
Yup. Can you believe that? They get them every day too! Except, of course, when those people hear the screeching wail of a plane breaking the sound barrier, they shit their pants and run for cover, knowing full well that some man, woman, or child is going to die. It's all thanks to a Nobel Peace Prize-winning president on a humanitarian mission.
Think about it. It's a weird concept. In one country, an "air show" most certainly means imminent death for some poor fucker. In another country, it's just another sign for some fat fuck drinking coke that Summer is here. Go figure.
Doktor nOnsensical out!
Oh, and if you enjoy reading nOnsense and want to add a full-length book to your summer reading list, be sure to check out Doktor nOnsensical's first novel on Amazon. You can find it HERE. Also, from now until July 20th, 25% of all book sales will be donated to nationalbreastcancer.org.
