I'm not going to argue that Super Mario Bros.: The Movie is a great film. Fuck no. It's a rather bland kids movie at best. However, what I'm a bit sick of is this badgering of it as "one of the worst video game movies of all time" reputation that it gets. Mainly, the film gets that acknowledgment because it's not like the game. At all.
If one were to argue all the many ways it diverts from the source material, that person would be ranting for over an hour, nit-picking and making a fool of him or herself (let's face it - most likely himself). Why? Well, if you wanted the video game, it exists on multiple systems and in abundant sequels - some of which are supposed to be educational romps about history and geography that didn't go over well. There was also one on Gamecube that made some smart kids wonder about sex and biology, considering it featured Baby Bowser kidnapping Peach because she, apparently, was his mother.
Boom! Boom! Acka-lacka boom boom!
As its own movie though, Super Mario Bros. is a strange piece to analyze. Think about it. Imagine you're one of the three screenwriters tapped and credited to put this baby together (preferably the writer most responsible for the final, filmed product). You've got a few side-scrollers as your source material involving an Italian plumber jumping on turtles, bullets, and walking, brown turds in an adventure to save a princess and some mushroom people from an evil, dinosaur tyrant. Sure, you could stick with that plot and make it exactly like the game, or you could consider budget constraints and get creative.
Or you can get really creative and put some ultra-crazy shit in there...
Interdimensional lizard people bent on trying to conquer our dimension and enslave us all? Ones who evolved from the dinosaurs after a meteor ripped our worlds into two different dimensions? It sounds like somebody was reading some UFO/paranormal fringe writers - possibly David Icke with the interdimensional lizard people bent on enslaving us all bit.
Think about it though. Who reads that heavy duty stuff, one that requires a different frame of mind to even read and take seriously to begin with, and then decides it's ripe for a kids movie? Whoever the Hell wrote the majority of the polished script of Super Mario Bros.: The Movie, that's who. Think about that next time you're going to trash this film. Think about how some guy took a simple side-scroller and then based the entire plot off a writer and researcher who believes that our world leaders are actually Reptilian/Human hybrids bent on preparing us for servitude to their full-blood Reptilian masters. Then, said writer preparing it for submission, knowing full well that it was going in a light-hearted, whimsical movie for children.
That's fucking creative.
Doktor nOnsensical out.
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