During the homily, the priest said that if we embrace the cross and hold it tight, we often find that our arms are covered with splinters upon release. This image of embracing the cross until the splinters remained in my arms would be a perfect description of this particular day…
I always know that I’m in for a busy day when I see charts piled in the box as soon as I walk in the door, and this past Monday was no exception. It was chart after chart, client after client, all morning long. Towards midday, I found myself irritated with a postpartum mom who told me that she smoked marijuana all during the pregnancy, but wouldn’t hurt her baby now by smoking it while she was in the same room. I wondered, what’s the difference if she’s in the room or in the womb, it can still cause horrendous damage, and in fact even worse damage in the womb. So, I did my best to control my emotions, and gave her a handout about the detrimental effects that parental drug use can have on children and hoped she would do her best to refrain from it’s use in the future.
I will still trying to control my anger and frustration, when I over heard a client in the waiting room who was speaking on the phone about how she had been evicted from her home. She was crying, and although she was obviously very worried and upset, she spoke so gently and lovingly to her children.
When I called her into my office, she immediately broke down and shared her story with me. Her name was Tiffany. She didn’t know why she was evicted as she had always kept up with the rent. One day she came home, and found that everything she owned was gone. She had nothing! After calling the 211 emergency help line, she was told that all of the shelters in the city were full. The only ones who would accept new families had a requirement that the mother had been battered. Tiffany said that although her heart was battered, her body was not, and she would not lie just to have a place to stay. She was grateful that her cousin agreed to take her and her three children into her home. Her cousin had six children of her own, and felt that she was being extremely generous in allowing Tiffany and her children to stay in her living room. She had offered to feed the children, but she told Tiffany that she would be on her own for meals for herself.
She said she hadn’t eaten all week and was so hungry. She had no clothes for herself or her children except what they were wearing. She said she had a diagnosis of depression, but couldn’t afford her antidepressant medicine, so she was doing without. But most of all, they needed a place of their own. As she shared her story with me, I couldn’t help but cry along with her. I held her as she cried and told me that she was just at the end of her rope and didn’t have the strength to cope with this. But her children needed her to be strong, so she was going to do all that she could to carry on and get through this extremely difficult situation.
When we had both sufficiently dried our tears, we got to work. I pulled out every referral resource I had. If all went well, within a week, she should have clothes for herself and the children, medical assistance, food stamps, and legal assistance in fighting her landlord for her possessions. I certified her children for WIC benefits so they could begin to receive nutritious foods immediately. We found some food pantries and meal programs nearby where they could continue to receive healthy meals until they were settled once again.
Then I gave her my lunch, which she immediately began to eat and share with her children. My coworker gave her a bus pass, so they wouldn’t have to walk back to her cousin’s house, and I gave her the last dollar I had in my wallet. She really touched my heart, and if I had more, I would have given it to her. I had to restrain myself from offering to give them a ride, or let them stay with me, that’s how much she worked her way right into my heart. I told her that next month, when she returns to the WIC Clinic, I wanted her to ask for me so I could see how she was doing. Then I hugged her again, and she was on her way.
When I was able to take a break for lunch, I went for a walk outside to release my stress. I felt solidarity with her in my hunger, as it was I who was now going without eating. And then, the words of the priest from the morning’s homily came back to me… “If you truly embrace the cross, your arms will be covered with splinters when you finally release it.” I imagined Tiffany’s arms covered with splinters from the serious cross-embracing that she was doing. I prayed that my small interaction in her life was like a tweezers, gently lifting some of those splinters from her arms, although I knew that she would always hold on to a few of those splinters as a reminder of the pain she endured in this situation. I also realized that some of those splinters transferred to my arms when I held her, as I embraced her cross with her in my efforts to ease its weight for her.
This situation reinforced for me that my job at the WIC clinic is much more than just a job, it is a ministry. I am so fortunate to be able to touch the lives of God’s most precious children and help them carry their crosses when the burden is too much to bear. I will gladly share their splinters knowing that I am able to make a difference in their lives no matter how small it may be.
